akils

the call is coming from inside the house. April week 4

Weeknotes – Week of April 22, 2025

April 25, 2025 – 3:43 PM

  1. i hate this i hate this i hate this
  2. ive never moved cities slowly enough to fully marinate in the pain/irritation/anxiety of it all. maybe there's a certain twisted logic to doing it quickly - bandaid ripping
  3. im excited about potentially meeting and getting to know Festool tools. he said I could use them and make something. am I too old to be adopted?
  4. im sad. im sad about being sad. im sad that im not happy when my friends seem happy. in fact I think rn its actively making me sadder. and angrier. im bitter. i don't like being bitter.
  5. im preemptively tired at the idea of having to setup a life again. where do normal people summon up the will to live from?
  6. i really wish i wasnt aro. its the thing, much more than ace, that most seems to confine me to the roll of the old jealous/bitter hag type character in pretty much everything. and amongst the things [all the other a's] that separate me from peeps, this one is the smallest club. i have, in my life, once met one other aro peron.
  7. in the updates section- im hosting/teaching 2 workshops tomorrow- a drone making workshop for babies [7-15] and linocut workshop [for adults I think? idk. didn't do any of the marketing]. doing it with Hindustan trading Co which is a 3 floor paradise of art supplies and quit possibly where i will go in the afterlife if I've been deemed net not horrible.
  8. my priod is being wierd. i had horrible pain and very little bleeding this time. i find, as i grow older, that i want to talk very actively about my period and whats going on. i need this to be known about me. i think its part of the growing older package- its fascinating and horrifying what starts happening from inside your body- increasingly more so than anything happening on the outside. the call is coming from inside the house!
  9. i dont like capitalizing 'i'. the little i feels so much more like a person with a little head and everything. 'I' feels like "it's not miss, its dr actually".